Idiot Seraphim Zes
by Meowzy-chan
Summary: Sixth part in the Idiot Seraphim series. As usual, life with the Seraphim is chaotic. This time, however, it reaches a whole new level of disarray. Fights, cappuccinos and posters galore. Pairings: ZexLl, KrxYu, MixGe, MaxCo
1. Prologue

Disclaimer.

Welcome to the long-awaited sixth part of the Idiot Seraphim series! Idiot Seraphim Zes! Most likely it will also be the last. (I _mean_ it this time!) Let's disclaim, shall we?

First off, I don't own Tales of Symphonia, or the characters. This counts for all chapters to come.

Secondly, this story is a bit alternate universed, since it diverts from the original ending. If you want more insight on how it diverts, read the previous Idiot seraphim fics.

Thirdly, I suppose the characters are out of character. A lot. This is normal in the Idiot Seraphim series. There are some who find my view of characters refreshing. Others yell at me for it. But don't worry. I'll _try_ to keep your image of them intact.

Fourthly, this fic supports the couplings of KratosxYuan, LloydxZelos and MithosxGenis. Also, implied SheenaxRaine. Also, a new pairing that I won't spoil just yet. If you can't stand the couplings, please don't whine about it. This story was written for the sake of comedy and fangirling.

Fifthly, it doesn't cost you that much time to leave a review. So please, remember to comment on the chapter. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad. I like constructive criticism.

For those of you who have not yet read the previous Idiot Seraphim fics, or Idiot Renegade, catch up to all the events by reading this wonderful prologue!

* * *

Prologue

It all started off when the guys of Cruxis hired Zelos to be the fourth seraphim. Zelos agreed, and was dragged off to Vinheim the second, where he could live from now on. After a rowdy party at Lloyd's place, Zelos awoke next to the birthday boy. The guys from Cruxis of course, knew all along he was gay. Zelos still denied it, and tried to find distraction in Cruxis' radical actions against discrimination. When he faced certain death however, he admitted that he is in fact gay. Later on, when everyone was celebrating Mithos' four thousand and thirteenth birthday in Flanoir, he admitted to Lloyd that he may have feelings for him.

And so, two years later, Zelos proposed to him. Lloyd accepted. But then the boy went missing. Zelos, Kratos, Yuan and Mithos embarked on a quest to find him. After being dragged around the entire united world, they found out that Lloyd had been kidnapped by none other than Colette Brunel. The girl wanted revenge, because Lloyd had used the Kharlan tree to start his Mana company. The company that supplies mana throughout the world, without exhausting the tree too much. Colette demanded half of the company, but Lloyd refused to budge. Eventually, the gang managed to free him and the wedding happened as planned.

A year later, Mithos succeeded in reviving Martel, using an automated doll similar to Tabatha. Martel was not pleased to find out Yuan and Kratos were a couple now, and tried her best to keep the two apart. Meanwhile, she also frowned heavily upon the relationship between Mithos and Genis Sage. Everyone was soon on the brink of insanity, which only got worse when Martel accidentally exposed herself as an angel while saving Altamira from a tidal wave. Soon, it was time for another one of Mithos' birthday parties, where everyone has to come in couples. Just as Martel forced Yuan to tell everyone they were getting married soon, Colette came to crash the party. Martel came to the shocking conclusion that she too was gay, and that she only liked Yuan because he was so girly. She soon ditched the party and ran off with Colette. But she still had to live with her little brother, of course. That's how all seven seraphim ended up together in Vinheim the second.

A few months afterwards, the Cruxis gang got a rather strange visitor. A man named Dhaos claimed to be Yuan from the future. His mission in the past was to take Kratos with him and at the same time kill Kratos' future assassin. The assassin turned out to be none other than Zelos, who, four thousand years from now, would accidentally feed Kratos spaghetti with tomato sauce. Luckily, most of the group jumped in to protect their favourite ex-chosen from Dhaos' wrath. Yuan remained sceptic about Dhaos' story, even though everyone said that the two 'kinda did look alike'. Martel, getting sick of the situation, decided to go on a short holiday with Colette, vowing not to return until Dhaos was gone. There was much rejoicing. Still, everyone was starting to get more and more annoyed by the man. The entire situation was resolved when Nancy, Kratos from the future, came to retrieve his beloved Dhaos. He'd been revived with a lifebottle mere moments after Dhaos left for the past. Still, the two left chaos in their wake, as everyone of Cruxis was now incredibly scared of the future.

Six months later, it was revealed that Botta was still alive. Along with the two Renegades that accompanied him, he had escaped the Remote island human ranch. He then spent a few years searching for his true purpose in life, only to return to Triet base. After warning Yuan and Kratos about an evil organisation that was planning to take over the world, he disappeared once more. With the aid of Mizuho's inside network, they found out that this organisation was called Sixurc, and was comprised of ten so-called Eliminators. During a show-down in the Tower of Mana (which was repainted and dubbed the Tower of Damnation) the identities of the Eliminators were revealed. Kuchinawa, Virginia, the Iselia mayor, Chocolat, Ernie the hotsprings guy, the Pope and Abyssion were the most random ones. Forcystus was also in their ranks, but only because he was the Renegade and Mizuho insider. The main Eliminators turned out to be none other than the Dark Chef and his henchman Remiel. The Dark Chef planned on destroying the Tower of Damnation and everyone inside it, fulfilling an ancient prophecy to find his true heir, who would arise from the rubble to shower the world in darkness. Luckily, his plan was foiled when Wonder Chef showed up to save the day. Along with his most trusted henchmen, the Dark Chef fled the scene. Virginia, however was returned to a semi-sane state with a whack on the head from Raine's staff. What kind of trouble will the guys get themselves into this time?


	2. Chapter One

((A/N: Let's get this party started!))

* * *

Chapter one.

It was now over four years since Zelos had joined Cruxis as the fourth seraphim. Two years since the red-headed ex-chosen had married Lloyd, and one year since Martel had returned from the dead. It was nine months since Dhaos had appeared, and only three months since the Dark Chef had tried to destroy Cruxis. It was at that time that Mithos Yggdrasill realised something. An epiphany, if you may.

"What… are we doing?" the boy asked, as most of Vinheim's occupants were gathered in the living room.

"We're _trying_ to watch TV." Martel snapped, turning up the volume.

"No, I mean… Why are we just sitting around?" Mithos glanced around the room blankly. "We're members of Cruxis! Shouldn't we be out fighting discrimination?"

"I dunno." Lloyd gave a faint shrug.

"I faintly remember something about Cruxis actions being suspended until further notion." Zelos added.

"That was ages ago!" Mithos shouted. Indeed, about a year ago, something like that had been said. The cause of it had been a small uproar, due to Martel's sudden appearance in Altamira.

"So?" Lloyd looked away from the TV for moment. "I doubt that discrimination even needs fighting these days. Half-elves are pretty much accepted anyway."

"That's what they _want_ you to think!"

"Who's they?" Zelos frowned.

"Man! And those damn elves in Heimdall. Oh, how I hate them…" Mithos growled, narrowing his eyes.

"Uhuh…" everyone turned back to the TV again.

"Anyway, I don't pay you to do nothing!" Mithos added.

"You're not paying us at all." Zelos snapped.

"Heck, _I'm_ not even officially a member of Cruxis. I'm only here because Zelos is." Lloyd remarked.

"That's my hubby!" Zelos wrapped an arm around the boy's neck.

"Could you be quiet? Some of us want to watch TV." Martel spoke sharply, and the two shut up again.

"I still think we should fight discrimination somehow. Whether you guys like it or not." Mithos crossed his arms, looking like an angered little boy. Which was exactly what he was.

"Don't worry, Mithos! I'll help you!" Colette said happily. The only reason the girl was not paying attention to the TV as well was because the programme they were watching was a medical series, which used way too many difficult words.

"Ugh…" Mithos groaned, before glancing around. "Where are Yuan and Kratos, anyway?"

Right on cue, Yuan burst into the room through one door and disappeared through the one on the other side. He looked like he was pretty upset. Tears were streaming down his face as he wailed like an upset little girl.

Those few seraphim who had noticed didn't seem to care all that much.

A few seconds after, Kratos barged into the room as well, looking a bit shocked.

"Yuan! Come back! I didn't mean it like that!" he called, but the door was quickly slammed in his face.

"I know perfectly well what you meant!" Yuan's voice cried from the hallway. Stomping footsteps were heard, and soon the slamming of the front door.

Kratos sighed miserably and started to slouch to the kitchen, probably to drown his sorrow with food.

"What was that all about?" Zelos pondered aloud, somehow finding the man's grief more interesting than TV.

Kratos paused, turning to face the others. "I wished Yuan a happy birthday, and now he's under the assumption I think he's old."

"It's Yuan's birthday?" Colette asked.

Mithos and Martel exchanged blank glances and shrugged. Apparently, they'd forgotten too.

"Yeah. He stopped celebrating years ago, but I thought I'd mention it this year anyway. Big mistake." Kratos sighed again, before continuing on his path to the kitchen.

"You know, I think this is the first time I've seen those two fight in years." Mithos commented thoughtfully.

"You know, I don't care." Martel turned up the volume a bit more. "They'll probably be back in each other's arms before lunch."

She couldn't have been more wrong.


	3. Chapter Two

((A/N: Wow, look at all those positive reviews! It'll be another exciting part of the Idiot Seraphim saga, ne?))

* * *

Chapter two.

Two days passed since Yuan had run off, but the blue-haired seraph still hadn't returned. The effects were starting to show, as Kratos looked more and more like a kicked puppy. He would sit silently in a corner of the living room, staring out the window and whimpering under his breath. At first, Mithos and the others were amused by this sad behavior. As they reached forty-eight hours of it, though, the fun had worn off and irritation was starting to set in.

"Honestly, Kratos, if it bothers you so much just go out and _look_ for Yuan! Knowing him, he's waiting for you to make the first move!" Martel snapped.

"I can't. I don't know where he's gone." Kratos whispered in a voice that sounded like the man was on his deathbed.

"The Renegade base. Duh." Mithos rolled his eyes.

"I already checked both Triet and Flanoir base. He wasn't there." Kratos continued to stare out the window.

"Hm… That's peculiar." Martel scratched the back of her head thoughtfully.

"Oh, did you hear? That guy opened a diner in Sybak!" Zelos said, completely out of nowhere.

"What guy?" Colette asked, tilting her head.

"Oh, you know… That half-elf guy. Yuan's friend. Uhm…"

"Oh! I know who you mean!" Lloyd called. "His name's… Eh… Something with a B."

"The coffee guy?" Mithos questioned.

"Wasn't his name Buttocks…?" Zelos put a thoughtful hand to his chin.

Kratos looked up, his eyes narrowing in a glare. "… Botta." Without another word, he got up and stormed out the room.

A small silence followed.

"No… I don't think that was it." Mithos muttered.

* * *

About an hour later, Kratos barged into Botta's Café, which was conveniently located near the library and the research academy. It was, or so Kratos had heard, the best place in town to get a perfect cappuccino. 

"This is a robbery! Hand over Yuan, and nobody gets hurt!" the auburn seraph shouted, waving Flamberge at the nearest innocent victim.

"W-what?" the woman edged away in her seat nervously.

"Oh, right, I mean… I'm looking for this man." Kratos held up a picture of Yuan, which was taken in Altamira. Then he directed Flamberge at her throat again. "Tell me where he is. _Or else_."

"H-he's over there." The woman slowly pointed to the bar, careful not to make any sudden moves.

"Okay, thanks." Kratos sheathed his sword again and wandered over to the bar, leaving a very distressed woman behind.

Sitting on a barstool near the cappuccino maker was Yuan, his head leaning on the palm of his hand. He was staring blankly into a coffee mug, swirling the contents around before making them disappear in one gulp. Meanwhile, Botta was standing a little distance away, wiping glasses with a cloth. He fixed Kratos with a blank glance. The human ignored him and moved to stand next to the other seraph.

"What do you want?" Yuan growled, not even looking at him.

"I want you to come home." Kratos spoke. As much as he tried, he couldn't quite get the pitiful note out of his voice.

"I thought I was too _old_ for your taste." The Renegade leader glared at his innocent coffee mug.

"All I did was wish you a happy birthday."

"You wished me a happy four thousand and thirty-eighth birthday." Yuan snapped angrily.

"But that's how old you are." Kratos blinked.

Yuan's eye twitched, before he looked up at Botta. "More cappuccino."

"Sure thing, sir." The half-elf gave a curt nod.

"No. That's enough cappuccino for you. You're coming home with me, now." Kratos reached out and grabbed Yuan's arm.

"Botta! This man is harassing me!" the blue-haired seraph shouted. Immediately, everyone in the café looked their way.

"He threatened me with a sword!" the woman from before added hastily.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave my establishment." Botta put down the glass he was wiping.

"What if I don't want to?" Kratos asked defiantly.

Botta reached into his shirt and pulled out a small whistle, attached to a chain. He put it to his mouth and blew it sharply. Immediately, Renegades number forty-three and number two-hundred and twenty jumped out of nowhere, brandishing tasers. Before Kratos even had a clue what was going on, he was already out cold and thrown onto the sidewalk.


	4. Chapter Three

((A/N: Hahahah, the multiple responses of "Nooo! Don't let the Kruan die!" are really amusing me. Guys, come on! You know me! I'd never let the Kruan die! ... Though things are only going to get worse from now on... For a bit... Eheheheh...))

* * *

Chapter Three.

The next day, Mithos came storming into the dining room, a wide grin plastered on his face. Most of the other seraphim were already having breakfast. Yuan, however, had not returned from Botta's café and Lloyd had to leave early for work.

"Guys! Gather in the meeting room! I just had the greatest idea for anti-discrimination!" Mithos proclaimed proudly.

"Whut?" Zelos asked, not bothering to swallow his toast first.

"I said… Gather in the meeting room! Now! Breakfast can wait!"

"No, Mithos. No it can not." Martel growled. She finished her bacon and eggs, which only had one bite left anyway, before getting to her feet. "Okay, now we can go."

"What about my toast?" Zelos whined.

"Toast be damned!" Mithos replied.

"Yay! My first ever Cruxis meeting! I'm so excited!" Colette said happily.

"Uhm… Yeah…" Mithos put on a horribly fake smile, before glancing around. "Where is Kratos anyway?"

"You don't want to know." Martel sighed.

"Why not?"

"Trust me. You don't."

"It's quite horrible." Zelos added.

"But he has to attend the meeting too!" Mithos objected loudly.

Martel sighed again. "Suit yourself…"

* * *

And so, they headed for a broomcloset on the third floor. Martel pulled the door open to reveal darkness. Faintly, Mithos could hear a soft sobbing sound. 

"Kratos?" Zelos asked delicately.

"Go away." Said a muffled voice.

Martel reached into the closet and flicked the light on. Kratos, who was sitting in a far corner, started to hiss violently, covering his eyes. Mithos recoiled in horror.

"Told you it was horrible." Zelos said.

Kratos whimpered, pulling his knees up to his face.

"Oh, stop being such a dramaqueen." Martel snapped. "It's not the end of the world."

"Yes it is!" Kratos wailed.

"_Honestly_. If you want Yuan back, all you have to do is convince him you love him." The girl crossed her arms impatiently.

"I don't know how!"

"You have to show him that you still care about him. That you don't mind that he's old." Martel said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"But he's not old." Kratos objected.

"_He_ thinks he is. It's called a midlife crisis."

Immediately, Colette took out a dictionary and started to flip through it. Difficult words were not her expertise.

"So just get out there and win that sissy back, so we don't have to watch your pathetic acting anymore." Martel concluded.

"Yeah! Yeah, I will!" Kratos got to his feet, suddenly motivated.

"Uhm… But wash your face before you go. You've got mascara running down your cheeks." Zelos commented awkwardly.

"Huh?" The auburn seraph ran a hand across his face. "I knew I should've gotten waterproof…"

With that, he walked off, leaving the other four behind.

"Wait… He was supposed to be at the meeting too!" Mithos said suddenly.

"Oh, just let him go. He's no use to us without his precious Yuan anyway." Martel rolled her eyes.

"But… He does know your advice usually makes things worse, right?" the boy asked, earning him a harsh slap across the face from his sister.

"Midlife crisis. An emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the realization that life is halfway over." Colette said in a wise voice, before closing her dictionary.


	5. Chapter Four

((A/N: Yup, early update because I'm off to another convention this weekend! Thanks for the reviews so far, and enjoy!))

* * *

Chapter Four.

So, four of Cruxis' six Seraphim gathered in the meeting room, which hadn't been used in over a year. All the desks had become extremely dusty and needed a good clean before they could be used.

"We should get a housekeeper. We've got way too many rooms to keep clean." Mithos muttered.

"Oh, just get the meeting started." Martel spoke loudly, flicking a spider off her desk.

"Right!" with that, the boy transformed into Yggdrasill and took his place before the 'class'. He cleared his throat importantly, but when he saw his sister's glare he withered slightly. "So, it's been a year since the incident at Altamira. It is time for us to continue our fight against discrimination. The first order of business is to plan-"

"Ahem?" Martel nodded her head to Colette, who was gazing at Yggdrasill with a cheerful smile.

"Uhm… The first order of business is to officially welcome Colette to Cruxis." The blonde hastily corrected himself. "Welcome Colette."

"Glad to be here, Chuck." The girl said happily.

"O-kay…" Yggdrasill blinked. "Anyway, the second order of business is to plan our revenge against the elves of Heimdall."

"The elves of Heimdall?" Martel raised an eyebrow.

"For too long, those stuck-up jerks have refused half-elves entry to their village! Last time we tried to handle this problem, Kratos and Zelos were banned along with Martel, Yuan and myself. No longer can we get near the village." Yggdrasill's eyes narrowed. "However… We have a secret weapon."

"We do? What is it? Is it deadly?" Zelos leaned forward in his chair, suddenly interested.

"Well, I wouldn't really say deadly…" Yggdrasill muttered. "It's Colette."

A small silence followed. Zelos and Martel turned in their seats to stare at the blonde girl.

"Me?"

"You are the only Cruxis member who hasn't been banned from Heimdall. Plus, you're a human and you helped unite the worlds. That'll work in our favor." Yggdrasill reasoned.

"What do you want me to do?" Colette asked.

"It had better not be dangerous." Martel added in a growl.

"It's quite simple. Not even Colette should be able to mess this up." Yggdrasill turned and pasted a big drawing over the blackboard. It was a blueprint of Heimdall. "You will enter the village and head for the inn. If anyone asks, you're staying there for a few nights as a holiday."

"Really? I get to go on a holiday?" Colette's eyes started to sparkle.

"Then, during nighttime, when everyone is asleep… You will paste these all across the village." Yggdrasill held up a small poster.

Zelos squinted, trying to read the words. "Only you can prevent half-elf discrimination?"

"What's that drawing? Looks like two severely maimed giraffes…" Martel commented.

"It's a half-elf and an elf, holding hands! Sheesh!" Yggdrasill snapped, putting the poster down again.

"Well, it doesn't sound so hard." Colette pondered. "I'll do my best!"

"Good. Then I'll make a few hundred more of these posters." Yggdrasill clapped his hands. "Meeting dismissed!"

"Hooray! I'm going to start packing my things!" Colette hopped to her feet and skipped out the door.

"This is going to end in chaos, isn't it?" Zelos asked Martel as they too left the meeting room.

"I'd say the chances of chaos are extremely high." Martel sighed, before whipping around and grabbing her brother's arm.

"Ow! What gives?" Mithos, having just transformed back into a little boy, asked.

"You and I are going to follow Colette, and make sure she doesn't mess up." Martel hissed.

"We can't! We were banned from Heimdall, remember?"

"We're not going to enter the village. We'll stay in Ymir forest, for all I care. Just as long as we can keep an eye on Colette."

"Go by yourself." Mithos broke free of Martel's grip and tried to walk past her, but found his way blocked.

"This was your idea, _brother_. If you want to be a leader of Cruxis, you'll have to act like one and take responsibility." Martel's eyes narrowed darkly, a high level of 'evil' shimmering in them.

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!"

"Good boy." Martel smiled at him, before striding off.


	6. Chapter Five

((A/N: Here we go. Magical chapter five! Thanks for the reviews so far!))

* * *

Chapter Five.

Meanwhile, Kratos burst into Botta's Café for the second time in two days, to find Yuan sitting at the bar. Despite the fact that he hadn't slept for a few days, the Renegade leader's eyes were wide open. This mostly had to do with the caffeine rush he was experiencing.

"Yuan! How are you?" Kratos asked, approaching him.

Yuan turned to face him, wrinkling his nose. "You again? What do you want _now_?"

"Hear me out, okay?" Kratos said quickly. Before the other could interrupt, he held out a small box. "You're older, but so what? Everyone gets older! And to prove that I don't care, I got you a birthday present!"

"Ohhh! Presents!" Yuan's eyes immediately started to sparkle. He gave Kratos a suspicious look before snatching the box from his hands and removing the wrapping paper with one quick rip. "It's… Uhm…"

"It's a nosehair trimmer!" Kratos said proudly. "Old people tend to get hair in their nose, which is kind of disgusting. So now you can trim it! Because even though you're an old man, you're _my_ old man!"

Not once did it occur to Kratos that this was the wrong thing to say. That this was, without a doubt, one of the most brainless and insensitive things ever to sprout from his lips. He did not start to wonder whether his thoughts were perhaps a bit badly worded until Yuan promptly dropped the box to the ground, his eyes filling with tears.

"You _do_ think I'm old?" the blue-haired seraph asked.

Kratos considered telling Yuan that he didn't think so at all. But then he remembered Martel's advice, and smiled broadly.

"Yes."

The next second, a mug of cappuccino had been thrown to Kratos' head. The man shrieked, dodging to the side just in time. Yuan hopped up from his seat, positively seething.

"So I'm _old_, huh? Just an old _geezer_, am I? Why not send me to a retirement home while you're at it? That'll take care of all your problems!" he screamed.

"But… I don't think we can afford to pay a retirement home… Cruxis' funds are still rather low…" Kratos muttered.

"Get out of here!" Yuan shouted, pointing to the door.

"But Yuan-"

"Out! Now!"

"No!"

"_Botta_! Throw him out!" Yuan screamed, turning to face the bar.

Immediately, Botta reached into his shirt and pulled out his whistle. He blew it, and the two Renegades from before jumped out of nowhere, once again brandishing tasers.

"Oh, that's just not fair! I didn't do anything wrong!" Kratos backed away.

"What kind of businessman would I be to refuse my best customer a request?" Botta simply shrugged.

The next second, there was a loud zapping sound and unconscious Kratos was being thrown out the door.

* * *

That same night, Colette had entered Heimdall, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses. A camera hung from her neck, to complete the tourist image. The fact that she was carrying an enormous bag over her shoulder made this even more suspicious. Though many elves gave her a strange glance, they did not comment on it. This girl was one of the heroes who'd united the world, after all… 

While Colette checked into the hotel, Mithos and Martel hid just outside the village, in Ymir forest.

"Ugh, I hate this place…" Mithos muttered, watching an enormous worm crawl past them.

"Be quiet and keep an eye on the village." Martel snapped, peering through the bushes.

"Easy for you to say. There's a warthog on the other side of that bridge and it doesn't look too friendly. Not to mention all those predator fish in the water… They could easily rip off one of my legs!" the boy's left eye twitched nervously.

"Oh, don't be stupid. Those animals are more afraid of you than you are of them."

"I doubt that." Mithos muttered, noticing that one of the predator fish was eyeing him with great interest.

"Well, we won't be in here too long anyway. As soon as everyone is asleep, Colette will put up the posters and then we can leave." Martel smiled faintly.

For about five minutes, everything was quiet. Then, without warning, there was a loud bang, almost as if someone had tripped and fallen face-first onto the ground. The next moment, a large cloud, consisting of anti-discrimination posters, appeared over the village.

"She messed up!" Mithos hissed.

"Colette!" Martel jumped to her feet, took out her wings and flew off at high speed, in the direction of Heimdall.

"Martel, no! We were banned!" Mithos called after her. A small silence followed, which was broken when a low growling rang through the forest. Mithos hastily got to his feet as well. "Uhm… Wait for me!"


	7. Chapter Six

((A/N: And still, people comment on the lack of 'Kruan'. Guys, you _know_ me! Nothing _serious_ is going to happen between the two. ... Oh, wait, there is that thing where... Ah... Eheheheh... Point is, I love Kratos/Yuan, so the flame is not going to die out.))

* * *

Chapter Six.

"Honestly, sir, I don't know how all these flyers got scattered around the village!" Colette was trying desperately to prove her innocence. Sadly, she was failing miserably, seeing as a lot of the flyers were clinging to her clothes and hair.

"Don't think you can fool me! You were caught red-handed, spreading Cruxis propaganda!" the Heimdall elder, still in his pyjamas, shouted. Many other elves nodded in agreement.

"It's not propaganda. Mithos said it's a half-elf and an elf holding hands…" Colette blurted out.

"Then you _are_ related to that troublemaker!" the elder shouted.

"Uhm… Uhm…" the girl began. Then she said the only thing that came to her mind. "I'm sorry!"

"Apologizing won't get you anywhere." The elder's eyes narrowed. "Colette Brunel, you are hereby banned from-"

"COLETTE!"

Everyone looked up to see Martel flying towards them with tremendous speed. The next second, Colette had been lifted from the ground and pulled into a hug by the green-haired goddess. Most of the elves gasped, but some even shrieked in horror.

"Yeah, it's a sickening sight, isn't it?" Mithos said, appearing behind the elf elder, his arms crossed as he floated a few feet in the air.

"Colette, are you alright? Did the mean elves hurt you?" Martel asked in a gentle voice.

"No, I'm fine." Colette said cheerfully, trying to break away from the girl's embrace with a giggle.

"Look at you. You're a mess!" Martel started brushing the flyers off Colette's clothes, an extremely disapproving expression on her face.

A small silence followed, as everyone continued to stare at the two with wide eyes. All except for Mithos, who yawned boredly.

"Martel has returned to wreak vengeance upon us all!" one of the elves shouted suddenly. Instant chaos erupted.

"She's arisen from the depths of the underworld!"

"Heavenly judgment is upon us all!"

"_Run away_!"

Immediately, most elves went into hiding, barring their doors and windows. The elder, however, remained where he was.

"Martel Yggdrasill, I don't know how you managed to return from the dead and I don't think I want to know. What I _do_ want to know is why you are here. Last time I checked, you and your brother were banned from this village!" he snapped.

"Oh, stuff it, old goat!" Martel shouted back, still holding Colette close in a protective way.

"Yeah, we only came here to retrieve the klutz. We'll be leaving now." Mithos shrugged.

"Hold your insolent tongue! Do you have any idea what the penalty is for stepping onto Heimdall's ground after being banned?" the elder clutched his staff angrily.

"Something boring, no doubt." Mithos muttered, rolling his eyes. "But… Here's the thing. We're not _touching_ the ground!"

The elder blinked, realizing that with the aid of their wings, neither Martel nor Mithos had actually touched the ground. He growled under his breath, as the blonde boy started to laugh maniacally.

"In your face, old man!" Martel smiled broadly.

"Oh? Well, I'm still banning your little human friend from this village!" the elder crossed his arms defiantly. "And from now on, you're not allowed to enter the sky above Heimdall either!"

"Fine. You do that. All you elves can stay here and rot in this hick town!" Mithos said loudly, before rising higher into the air. "Come on, we're leaving."

Martel nodded and let go of Colette so that the girl could fly on her own. A minute later, the three were returning home.

"I'm sorry Mithos' idiotic plan got you banned from Heimdall, Colette." Martel said, ignoring the indignant squeak that came from her little brother.

"That's alright. It was my fault anyway. I messed up… I'm sorry." Colette muttered, glancing at the ground sadly as the wind whipped through her hair.

"No no, nobody blames you Colette. Isn't that right, Mithos?" Martel glared at the boy in question.

"Huh? Uhm… No. Nobody." Mithos replied through clenched teeth.

"Oh! Well, that's good then." Colette immediately smiled happily.

Mithos continued to grumble angrily as they made their way back to the tower of Salvation.


	8. Chapter Seven

((A/N: Haven't really got much to say... Waiting for my last ToS manga volumes to arrive and stuff... So... Thanks to those who reviewed!

... And I just realized that I usually replied directly to a lot of reviews in the Idiot Seraphim series. ... Should I do that in the next chapters?))

* * *

Chapter Seven.

It was now four days after Yuan had left. After his humiliation of the other day, Kratos had once again returned to the broomcloset to cry like a little girl. Now, however, he was also cursing his low intelligence for following Martel's advice. Things got worse the second he heard a familiar voice.

"Pssst… Kratos!"

Immediately, the auburn seraph looked up from his sobbing to glance around. "Yuan? Yuan! You've come back to me! I knew you would!"

A small silence followed. The broomcloset was empty.

"Ah no, now I'm hearing voices! The loneliness has driven me insane!" Kratos exclaimed, starting to panic.

"Over here! Geez."

Slowly, Kratos turned to see a tiny, glowing, holographic projection standing next to him. And not just any projection… It was a smaller version of Dhaos, who was looking extremely shifty.

"Look, I haven't got much time. Space-time calls cost a fortune, and if Nancy finds out I'm trying to change the past again I'm screwed. However, I can't live with the way things turned out, so I'm going to give you a warning to make sure it never happens!"

Kratos blinked. "Whoah, this is just like one of those sci-fi movies…"

"Yeah, I know." Dhaos grinned widely, before shaking his head. "Anyway, I can't give you any details on what's going to happen. All I can say is that you need to stay close to my past self and protect him. If you don't, people are going to get hurt. Heck, people will _die_!"

"But I can't stay close to him… We had a fight…" Kratos pouted miserably.

"Yes, I know. But think of it this way. I forgave you for being such an inconsiderate jerk." Dhaos shrugged.

"Oh, hey, that's true." An excited smile dawned on Kratos' face.

Dhaos glanced around shiftily again, apparently seeing something the other man was not seeing. "Oh no, Nancy is coming upstairs…"

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah. But remember, you have to stay close to Yuan! Lives are at stake! Reeemeeemberrr…" Dhaos made a vague hand motion, before disappearing with a pop.

Kratos blinked once more and glanced around blankly. Then he pushed himself to his feet and left the broomcloset by lunging valiantly into the hallway. He nearly crashed into Zelos while doing so.

"Whoah! Hey, watch it!" the red-headed ex-chosen managed to jump to the side just in time.

"Sorry." Kratos spoke, before noticing that all the other seraphim were standing in the hallway as well.

"Oh, dad. You're finally out of the closet." Lloyd smiled. "We were just coming over to have an intervention and make you see there's more to life than broomclosets and Yuan."

"No need for that Lloyd, I know what I must do!" the auburn seraph struck a heroic pose. "I must go to Botta's café and stick by Yuan's side at all time!"

A long silence followed.

"… You're going to stalk him?" Mithos asked slowly.

"Ofcourse not. I'm going to _protect_ him! See, Dhaos told me to stay close to Yuan, because if I didn't do so people would die." Kratos nodded, a wise expression on his face.

"Dhaos? Ahhh!" Zelos panicked and hid behind Lloyd.

"… You're going to stalk him because a voice in your head, claiming to be Dhaos, told you to?" Mithos tried again.

"He wasn't a voice in my head! He was in the broomcloset with me. And he was about _this_ big." Kratos held his left hand about six inches above his right one to indicate Dhaos' hologram size.

"Uhm…"

"Well, I'm off. Wish me luck!" Kratos said, before running off.

"Good luck!" Colette called after him in a cheerful voice.

"… Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Lloyd asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, I guess he has." Martel responded calmly.

A long silence followed.

"So, who's up for pizza?" Mithos asked.


	9. Chapter Eight

((A/N: Here we go. The chapter for which everyone will _wrongfully_ hate me. Oh boy, I can see the reviews now.))

* * *

Chapter Eight.

It wasn't until Kratos reached Botta's café that he realized that day was a Monday. The café was closed on Mondays. So, he spent the next fifteen minutes staring aimlessly into the abandoned diner, before deciding to go to Botta's house and ask the ex-Renegade sidekick where Yuan had gone.

Botta's house was conveniently located only a street away from the café. Kratos rang the doorbell and waited. Then he glanced at his watch. It was eleven o' clock in the morning. He sighed and lowered his watch. Then he waited some more.

Finally, the door opened to reveal Yuan. The seraph looked, if anything, completely exhausted. Dark circles were set under his eyes and his hair was standing in several directions. Kratos was, if anything, completely shocked.

"Y-Yuan!"

"What do you want?" Yuan asked in a hoarse voice.

"You… You… Why are you here?" Kratos stuttered.

"I don't think that's any of your business." Yuan grunted moodily.

"But… I mean… Did you spend the night here?" the human finally managed to ask the question that was on his mind all that time.

"So what if I did? It's not like I got any sleep."

Right at that moment, Botta walked past in the hallway, holding a cupcake. Kratos exploded.

"_I'll kill you!_"

Yuan was shoved to the side roughly as Kratos stormed past the doorway. The next second, Botta had been grabbed by his throat and pinned against a wall. The cupcake was dropped to the ground in shock, as Botta made a faint choking sound.

"Kratos, let him go." Yuan snapped.

"_No_! I'll _kill_ him! How _dare_ he!" Kratos roared, beyond reasoning.

"S-sir! Help!" Botta managed to gasp.

Yuan sighed and strode forward, grabbing Kratos by his hair and pulling him back. The human squeaked, promptly letting go of the half-elf he was trying to throttle.

"Not the lush auburn locks!"

"Then get out." Yuan growled, releasing Kratos' hair and pointing to the door.

"I can't! Dhaos told me to-"

"Dhaos?" Yuan's left eye twitched. "I told you never to say that name again! Get out!"

"Yuan, listen to me! Dhaos said-"

"_Botta_!"

Right on cue, a shrill whistle rang through the house. Renegades number forty-three and number two-hundred and twenty immediately came running.

"You again?" Number forty-three shouted.

"It's zapping time." Number two-hundred and twenty pulled out a taser.

Kratos sighed sadly. "I know the procedure by now. Let's get this over with."

There was a loud sizzling sound, accompanied by bright flashes of light and shrieks of pain. Then, Kratos' unconscious form was thrown onto the sidewalk once again and the door slammed behind him.

* * *

"Kratos, sit still!" 

Zelos had to try very hard to make himself heard over the loud wailing of the older man. At the moment, they were in the red-head's room.

"My life is over!" Kratos screamed.

"If my hair looked like that, I'd feel the same way…" Zelos muttered. Then he tried again to run a brush through Kratos' fizzy, electrocuted locks. They were still crackling softly, as a nasty side-effect to being tasered one too many times.

"Are you sure it's not a misunderstanding?" Lloyd asked with a sigh.

"No! It's as obvious as Zelos' sexual preferences! Yuan cheated on me with Botta!" Kratos called, before breaking into dramatic sobs again.

"Of all people, he chose Botta? He's got horrible taste." Zelos commented with a mild shudder.

"Dad, honestly. Just because he was at Botta's house and he looked like he hadn't slept and he's mad at you doesn't mean… Uhm… Well, it's not the end of the world." Lloyd gave a nervous laugh.

"_Yes it is_!" Kratos wailed.

Lloyd and Zelos exchanged a helpless glance, then Zelos tried in vain to once again tame Kratos' hair. The brush got tangled in it instead.


	10. Chapter Nine

((A/N: Wow, I wasn't maimed! Guess most people _do _know me better than I suspected. Hey, thanks for the reviews so far!))

* * *

Chapter Nine.

That evening, as usual, Kratos could be found sulking in the broomcloset. After having his hair reasonably tamed by Zelos, the man decided to once again cut himself off from society. The other seraphim agreed to just leave him there for the time being. After all, they thought, it's not like things could get any worse.

How very wrong they were.

That evening, at around half past six, Dhaos once again appeared before Kratos. And, just like last time, he was miniature sized, transparent, and looking extremely shifty.

"Pssst… Kratos! Did you find me? … I mean… Yuan?" he asked.

Kratos stared down at the mini Dhaos, sighed deeply, and nodded.

"Did you make up with him?"

"If I had, did you think I'd still be sitting in a dark broomcloset?" Kratos asked slowly.

"You moron! Time is running out, you know!" Dhaos shouted.

The auburn seraph didn't respond.

"Wait… What day is it?" Dhaos demanded.

"… Monday. The day my life was ruined." Kratos said softly.

"Oh no! You have to go find Yuan, _now_!" Dhaos' voice reached a note of panic.

"Why should I?" The human huffed.

"Because Monday is the day of the apocalypse! Well, that's how it's known in my time, anyway. I'd say apocalypse is a bit of an overstatement though… It's not like _everyone_ died." Dhaos trailed off thoughtfully, before shaking his head. "So get out there and start looking, you big lug!"

"Why should I go find him? The two-timing son of a Desian! He cheated on me!" Kratos blinked, before peering darkly at Dhaos. "And so did _you_!"

"What? No I did not!" The blonde shouted.

"Yes you did! I saw you- I mean Yuan- with… With _Botta_!" Kratos spluttered.

"Botta?" Dhaos' eyes widened. Then he put a hand to his chin. "Of course… Because I interfered, you went to look for me on Monday morning, when I was sleeping at Botta's house."

"Hah! Then you _admit_ it!" Kratos pointed an accusing finger at him.

"Look, you idiot. I did not sleep with Botta. I was at his house because-" Dhaos broke off, glancing to something invisible on his left, apparently listening intently. "Uhm… Yes! I'm coming, Nancy!" he called, slightly nervous.

"… What?" Kratos blinked.

"Look, I can't stay. Nancy's got dinner ready. Just trust me on this and find Yuan before midnight." Dhaos whispered hastily.

"But I-"

"_Do it_! If you don't, I'll slap you in the future!" The demon lord shouted, before disappearing.

Kratos stared blankly ahead for a while, trying to decide what to do. Finally, at around seven o' clock, he burst out of the broomcloset to sound the alarms.

* * *

Yuan sighed miserably, wandering the streets of Sybak. Botta had kicked him out the house to get some 'fresh air'. This, however, was a pretty stupid idea, as it was raining. No, not just raining. _Pouring_. To make things worse, all the stores were closed. There was nowhere to get coffee. No more delicious, caffeine filled cappuccinos. Only because Botta had promptly refused to give him any more until he had calmed down. 

Personally, Yuan had no idea what the guy was talking about. Just because he was still in a caffeine rush, hadn't slept in five days and saw the world through a blurred haze didn't mean that he needed to cut back on the coffee.

Not really seeing where he was going, he bumped into something solid.

"Ah… Pardon me, miss." Yuan muttered.

"I am not a miss." The solid thing responded in a low voice.

"Oh."

A long silence followed, before Yuan shrugged heavily and decided to keep walking.

"… Hey, aren't you Yuan? One of the seraphim of Cruxis?" The 'stranger' asked.

"I guess. I don't care about Cruxis anymore, though." Yuan's eyes narrowed. He couldn't really shake the feeling that he'd seen this man before somewhere. The haze in his mind, however, prevented him from remembering.

"Is that so? Then, perhaps, you would like to join our organization instead?"

"Ah…" something told Yuan that that would probably be a bad idea.

"You can come to our hideout to dry off, and have a cup of coffee." The man offered, smiling slyly.

"Lead the way!" Yuan grinned.


	11. Chapter Ten

((A/N: Hmm... Nobody who knows who the stranger might be? Well, let's find out then. But first... We see Kratos make a fool of himself yet again! Huzzah!))

* * *

Chapter Ten.

After arriving in Sybak, Kratos nearly bashed Botta's door down. He managed to stop himself just in time, though. Instead, he decided to knock, rather forcefully. The rattling of a chainlock was heard, and then the door opened slightly, revealing an apprehensive looking Botta.

"Are you here to strangle me again?" the half-elf asked suspiciously.

"I'm here to get Yuan." Kratos snarled. "And don't you dare blow that whistle on me again! I'm wearing rubber soles underneath my shoes, so hah!"

"I'm not sure if rubber soles would work against tasers…" Botta muttered.

"Let's not find out. Now, hand Yuan to me and I'll be on my way." Kratos crossed his arms expectantly.

"He's not here." Botta replied in a curt manner.

"Don't lie to me, you two-timing jerk!" Kratos' eyes narrowed dangerously.

"I'm not. I sent him outside to get some fresh air and- _Hey_… What do you mean, two-timing?" A blank look of confusion washed over Botta's face.

"Stop acting innocent. I know perfectly well what you did. You… Y-you… Ugh… I can't even think about it! I-it's too horrible!" Kratos placed a hand on the wall for support, shaking heavily.

"… Are you okay?" Botta opened the door a bit further, poking his head outside.

"No I am not okay! It's bad enough that I had a fight with Yuan. And then you have to go and… And… _Steal_ him from me! Oh, _the humanity_!" Kratos sobbed dramatically.

"I'm… Not quite sure what you're talking about." Botta blinked. "I mean, I don't think you should get so worked up about the fact that I invited Yuan to sleep at my house."

"Hah! Then you _admit_ it!" Kratos pointed an accusing finger at Botta, similar to the way he'd done with the blonde who had appeared before him earlier. "You… You… Cheater! Dhaos was lying after all!"

"Cheater?" Botta repeated blankly. "Uhm… I told Yuan to sleep at my house because he refused to go home. I had to close up the café so I couldn't just _leave_ him there. Well, he spent most of the night ransacking my kitchen to find more coffee. It's going to take quite some time for all that caffeine to work off."

A small silence followed as Kratos processed that information.

"Then… You didn't… I mean… Yuan and you…"

"Hm?" Botta tilted his head.

Hastily, Kratos pulled himself together. He pushed himself away from the wall, peering at Botta anxiously. "We need to find Yuan. Now."

* * *

Meanwhile, Yuan was led into the Tower of Mana by the stranger he had met earlier that evening. 

"Remiel… I did not expect you back so soon." Abyssion stepped out of the shadows, a nasty grimace on his face.

"Unlike you, Abyssion, I can do a mission _without_ slacking off." Remiel huffed, shaking his rain-soaked wings, thereby splattering droplets all over his fellow Sixurc member. Then he dropped a bag of groceries on the floor.

"Ugh…" Abyssion muttered something obscene under his breath, before casting his gaze to Yuan. "You _are_ aware that you were followed, right?"

"Hm?" Remiel turned back. "Oh, yes. It's alright. Mister Yuan here has decided he would like to leave Cruxis and join Sixurc instead. I'm going to take him to the top floor to meet our master."

"Are you kidding? You're leading an enemy straight into our lair?" Abyssion exclaimed.

"Yes, you see… _I_ am not a complete failure. After a few of our Eliminators left us, I kept an eye out for new recruits. And you have to admit, this is quite a nice catch." Remiel smiled smugly.

"Hey, you promised coffee!" Yuan objected, finally deciding to cut into the conversation.

"That I did. Abyssion, get out of the way, you silly man!" Remiel pushed his fellow Eliminator to the side and led the way down the hall. Abyssion once again muttered something extremely inappropriate before following the two.

In the kitchen, they were greeted by Kuchinawa and Ernie the hotsprings guy, who were fighting over the last piece of cheesecake.

"Stand back, towel boy! It's mine!" The ninja growled under his breath.

"No! I had dibbs! It's mine!" Ernie objected loudly.

"If you don't want me to separate your head from your body, you will let me have that piece of cake!" Kuchinawa snapped, pulling a kunai out of his pocket.

"Hey, guys! Stop fighting. That cake is for our guest." Remiel said loudly.

"Really? I get cheesecake too? This place is awesome!" Yuan cheered, already standing next to the cappuccino machine, holding an extra large mug.

* * *

((Ahhh... I love the guys from Sixurc. Only a few of them remained after Idiot Seraphim 5, but... These are the funniest, me thinks.)) 


	12. Chapter Eleven

((A/N: Not much to say, really. Not much to say... Thanks for the reviews and enjoy!))

* * *

Chapter Eleven.

"So… Explain to me again why you had to drag me away from work." Lloyd spoke, raising an eyebrow as he crossed his arms. At the moment, he was standing outside the tower of salvation with the other seraphim. Regal, Presea, Forcystus, Raine, Genis and Sheena were there as well. Virginia, for some reason, was staring blankly into space. By now, the rain had stopped and the clouds were starting to clear away. This did not make the situation any less serious though.

"Because Dhaos visited me again, and told me that unless we find Yuan, this day will be known as the apocalypse day." Kratos spoke wisely.

"… Uhuh…" Lloyd seemed incredibly skeptical.

"Just play along with it." Martel said under her breath. "He'll probably regain his sanity once we find Yuan, and then all this will be over."

"Then, where do you suggest we start looking?" Regal asked. "I have a busy schedule, so we need to get this over with as soon as possible."

"Yeah, same here. I mean, it's fun to have the gang together again and all, but-" Sheena broke off as Virginia suddenly appeared behind her, breathing down her neck. "Uhm… Raine? A little help?"

"Mother, get over here!" Raine grabbed Virginia by the arm and pulled her away from the black-haired ninja.

"But that girl smells like destiny." Virginia objected.

"… I know, mother. I know." Raine sighed heavily.

"Why did you have to bring her, Raine?" Genis asked, heavily embarrassed by his mother's behavior.

"Well, we couldn't just leave her behind! Remember what happened last time?"

"It's only logical two crazy siblings like you would have a mother like _that_." Martel huffed, completely unaware of the hypocrisy of her words.

Raine was just about ready to have Martel's face encounter one of her fists, were it not for the fact that Sheena had grabbed her arms to hold her back. Virginia bounced up and down in an excited manner. Genis and Mithos both buried their faces in their hands and the others weren't quite sure _what_ to think.

Kratos clapped his hands in hopes of getting everyone's attention. "Guys, focus!"

The group settled down again, though Raine and Martel continued to exchange glares.

"Now, we need to find Yuan before midnight. I suggest we split up and meet back here at half past eleven, so that we can go over the things we missed." Kratos spoke.

"Wow, you can actually be pretty smart sometimes." Martel's eyes widened in surprise.

"Let's get going, then. I don't want to stay up too late. I need my beauty sleep." Zelos commented, revealing his wings. The other seraphim hastily followed his example, as the mere mortals took out their rheairds. Then they shot off into different directions. Forcystus, who had been left behind, blinked, before slowly moving his wheelchair as well.

* * *

At the tower of Mana, meanwhile, Yuan had already finished seven cups of coffee and was even more caffeinated than before as he worked on the eighth cup. 

"I don't get how he manages it…" Ernie muttered in awe, as everyone stared at the blue-haired seraph.

"Perhaps his stomach is some sort of black hole…" Kuchinawa spoke thoughtfully.

"Hey, is that your last cup? We really need to go see the leader now." Remiel raised an eyebrow as he checked his watch.

"Oh, alright." Yuan gulped down the remains of his coffee in one swallow and got to his feet with incredible speed.

"I'll see you fools after I get my promotion." Remiel grinned and held the door open for their latest recruit.

"Hey! I'm not letting you steal all the credit!" Abyssion hissed, quickly stepping towards the hallway as well.

"Why not? You didn't _do_ anything!" Immediately, Remiel's eyes narrowed darkly.

"You claimed half the credit for that exsphere heist that I did all by myself, remember?" Abyssion snarled.

"I _deserved_ half the credit! I kept lookout!"

"Yeah, some lookout _you_ were! You wouldn't see guards if they were standing right in front of you, dancing the chacha!"

"Hey, I saved your butt, didn't I?"

"Yeah, after laughing your guts out for a good five minutes, you pompous b-"

"Hey, is this the way upstairs?" Yuan asked, already walking towards a teleporter.

"Ahhh! Come back!" Remiel and Abyssion called in unison, chasing after him.


	13. Chapter Twelve

((A/N: Hurray! Chapter twelve, in which you can recognise a new Idiot Seraphim pairing if you squint.))

* * *

Chapter Twelve.

The Dark Chef sat on his throne, absentmindedly twirling his abnormally large spatula between his hands. Things had been quiet for Sixurc. After the failure a few months ago, half of his Eliminators had left. Only the most trustworthy and desperate had remained. He knew that, if he wanted to shower the world in darkness, he would have to try a more solid approach. Though the use of the prophecy had been thwarted by the Wonder chef, his true heir was still out there. There was more than one way to have the evil side surface. Yet… He would have to _find_ his potential heir before he could try anything.

"Lord Dark Chef?"

The Dark Chef snapped out of his ponderings to see Remiel and Abyssion kneeling before him. "Yes, what is it?"

"My lord, I have found a new recruit for our cause." Abyssion said hastily.

"He did _not_! _I_ found him! Me!" Remiel spat in an irritated way.

"Is that so?" The Dark Chef sounded almost bored as he leaned forward, one of his arms propped up on the armrest of his throne.

"Yup! And he's a Seraph, too!" Remiel added smugly.

The Dark Chef remained silent for a moment, gazing at Yuan, who was standing behind the two Eliminators, not doing anything of particular interest.

"Very good, number two. Step forward." Sixurc's number one spoke.

Remiel got to his feet, sticking his tongue out at Abyssion before stepping towards his leader. The Dark Chef pushed himself up from his throne, placed a hand on Remiel's shoulder and smiled. In a way, the smile was rather cold. Remiel knew, however, that was the best he was going to get.

"You did good, Remiel." Was all the Dark Chef said.

"Thank you, my lord." Remiel bowed his head, yet couldn't help but grin slyly.

From the other side of the room, there was a loud crashing sound. Immediately, both the Dark Chef and Remiel turned to stare at Abyssion. Abyssion, however, raised his hand to point at Yuan, who was standing next to the shattered remains of a vase.

"Uhm… Oops." The blue-haired seraph laughed nervously.

At once, Remiel saw his promotion shatter along with the extremely expensive vase.

"You are Yuan, correct?" the Dark Chef asked, still appearing calm as he sat down in his throne again.

Yuan nodded.

"Come closer, Yuan."

Yuan rubbed his eyes in a tired way, the caffeine still blurring his vision slightly. Not once did he stop to consider that he was in the lair of Cruxis' greatest enemy. Instead, he simply stepped forward, stopping in front of the Dark Chef, who looked at him with a thoughtful expression

"Hmm… And what makes you think you can be an Eliminator?" the chef asked.

"I dunno… I was told there'd be coffee." Yuan muttered, shrugging. "Hey, why do you have such a large spatula?"

"Because it's my symbol of power." The Dark Chef sighed, getting mildly annoyed.

"It looks weird. Can I hold it?" Yuan tried to touch the spatula, but it was quickly pulled out of his reach.

"_No_! That spatula is for my-" The man broke off, his eyes widening slightly. For a moment, he seemed to be considering something as he eyed Yuan up and down again. "Could you turn to the right for me?"

Yuan shrugged and did so, turning right to face the wall. Then he bounced up and down on the balls of his feet, getting bored with the situation and wondering when he'd get more coffee.

The Dark Chef put a hand to his chin, before a strange smile appeared on his face. "Yes, you're hired."

"Hurray!" Yuan cheered.

"Are you sure about this, lord Dark Chef? I don't trust him." Abyssion muttered.

"Ah, you're just jealous that I found such a good recruit!" Remiel snapped back at him.

"Listen carefully, Yuan. Tonight, at midnight, we will make it official with a ceremony." The Dark Chef said.

"Really? A ceremony?" Yuan smiled liked an excited schoolgirl.

"Yes. It is at that ceremony that you can hold the spatula. Now, I must go and prepare. I will see you at the top of the tower of Damnation at a quarter to twelve to start the… initiation." The Dark Chef pushed himself to his feet.

"Will there be coffee?" Yuan asked eagerly.

For a moment, the Dark Chef considered this. "Sure, why the heck not?" Then he disappeared in a poof of smoke.

"How unfair… We never got a ceremony…" Remiel whispered sadly, and Abyssion gave a stiff nod in agreement.


	14. Chapter Thirteen

((A/N: Chapter thirteen, eh? We're makin' progress. Thanks for all the reviews so far!))

* * *

Chapter Thirteen.

At half past eleven that evening, the 'good guys' had gathered outside the tower of Salvation once more.

"Any sign of him?" Kratos demanded, looking anxious.

Everyone shook their heads softly.

"I don't get it. Where could he have gone?" Raine asked thoughtfully.

"Maybe Colette kidnapped him again!" Zelos exclaimed.

A long silence followed, as everyone turned to Colette.

"… Not that I can remember…" the girl said, thinking deeply.

"Zelos is on to something with the kidnapping though." Raine commented.

"But who would want to kidnap a member of Cruxis?" Lloyd asked, sounding a bit skeptic.

"One of our enemies…" Mithos muttered.

"Someone who would want revenge for something…" Martel added.

Another long silence followed.

"Sixurc!" shouted Mithos, Martel, Lloyd, Raine, Sheena, Genis, Regal, Presea and Forcystus in unison.

Everyone gasped. This time, there was a _dramatic_ silence.

"Well, you guys let me know how this turns out. I need to return to Altamira." Regal spoke suddenly, turning to leave.

"Yes, I must depart as well." Presea added.

"Ditto. Hey, good luck guys." Forcystus said, also moving away.

"Cowards!" Kratos shouted after them, shaking his fist.

* * *

At the tower of Mana, also known as the tower of Damnation, meanwhile, preparations for Yuan's initiation were afoot. Sixurc's five Eliminators had gathered atop the tower to set everything up, while Yuan sat in a corner, sipping coffee. 

"I still don't get why this guy gets a big party." Kuchinawa grumbled under his breath as he tried to heave a large dinnertable up the steps towards the altar.

"I bet it's because he's from _Cruxis_." Remiel rolled his eyes, not lifting a finger to help his companion.

"I wonder if he can arrange a date with Zelos for me." Ernie said with a dreamy expression. He was ignored.

The Dark Chef was standing near the altar, flipping through a book and muttering under his breath.

"Lord Dark Chef, I still don't understand why you wanted to borrow the Necronomicon." Abyssion glanced at his leader with a rather anxious expression.

"Patience, number three. All will become clear." Dark Chef replied simply.

"But the Necronomicon contains dark spells, used for brain control and evil spirit housing." Abyssion pressed.

"Do you not trust lord Dark Chef, Abyssion?" Remiel, who was just passing by, asked innocently.

"Ofcourse I do! If I didn't, I wouldn't have let him have the book in the first place!" Abyssion snapped.

"Then be quiet and let me do my work." Dark Chef said simply.

Both Remiel and Abyssion walked off to help Kuchinawa, who had just slipped down the stairs and got himself flattened under the table. Ernie, meanwhile, watched the Dark Chef draw strange symbols on the ground all around the seal altar.

"Yes… This is it! The preparations are completed!" with a wide grin, the Dark Chef turned to face his subordinates. "Let's get this ritual over with!"

"Ritual?" Yuan asked, looking up.

"Uhm… Did I say ritual? I meant to say ceremony." Dark Chef said quickly.

"Oh, okay." Yuan smiled and got to his feet, throwing the empty coffee mug over his shoulder.

"Gather round, minions. Gather round." Dark Chef beckoned the Eliminators closer and hopped back to stand on the altar.

There was a faint moment of chaos as everyone gathered in a circle before Sixurc's leader. The dinner table lay forgotten at the bottom of the stairs.

"We have gathered here tonight to welcome Yuan as a new member of Sixurc, and grant him the title of Eliminator. Yuan, if you would join me up on this non-suspicious altar…"

"Sure!" Yuan clambered onto the seal altar as well to stand next to the Dark Chef.

"Now, I will make it official with the traditional handing of the spatula."

"Traditional handing of the whatnow?" The other Eliminators exclaimed.

The Dark Chef held out his abnormally large spatula to Yuan, who glanced at it with wide eyes.

"Really? I can hold it now?" he asked eagerly.

"Oh, that's unfair! We never got to hold lord Dark Chef's spatula!" Abyssion shouted.

"I did." Remiel spoke with a smug grin.

"You did not!" Abyssion glared at him.

"Yes I did. Once. It was wonderful."

"You're bluffing!"

"Nuh-uh!"

Dark Chef sighed, rubbing his temples to stop an oncoming headache. Sometimes, it was hard to be an emissary of darkness and work with such imbeciles.

* * *

((Hahahah, oh man. Sixurc is still too much fun. But anywhooo... Traditional handing of the spatula, eh? Wondering what that means? You'll find out next chapter! If you dare! Muahahahahahah!)) 


	15. Chapter Fourteen

((A/N: Finally, chapter fourteen! THE chapter fourteen! This is pretty much one of my favourite chapters in Idiot Seraphim history. Oh yes, oh yes. I hope you'll enjoy!))

* * *

Chapter Fourteen.

It was after about five minutes that the Dark Chef decided to put an end to the pointless arguing.

"Yes, Remiel got to touch my spatula once. I told him to hold it while I tied my shoelaces. Now stop bickering before I smite you both where you stand!" the man growled in his most evil way.

Both Abyssion and Remiel immediately shut up, though the angel made sure to smirk widely.

"So, Yuan, here you are. Complete the initiation by holding the spatula." Dark Chef urged.

Yuan cautiously reached out to grab the abnormally large kitchenware, but froze when he heard a familiar voice calling his name. Soon after, six Seraphim and three rheairds arrived on the scene.

"Hold it right there, kidnappers!" Kratos shouted, skidding to a halt as his wings disappeared a bit too early.

Virginia stumbled off the back of Raine's rheaird, but ended up falling flat on her face. Colette ended up next to her only a second later, having once again tripped during her landing. The others managed to appear in a semi-normal manner. Mithos had transformed into Yggdrasill for the occasion.

"Release Yuan, or else!" Lloyd called threateningly, taking out the Eternal Sword and swinging it around to emphasize his point.

"Hi Zelos…" Ernie started to giggle, sidling closer to the red-haired seraph, who shuddered and stepped away from him.

"You're too late, Cruxis! The era of darkness begins now!" Dark Chef proclaimed, before roughly shoving the spatula into Yuan's hands. The seraph's eyes widened, as the symbols drawn around him started to shine brightly.

It was, undoubtedly, a bad thing.

There was an explosion of light, which was soon followed by an _implosion_ of light. Everyone screamed, shielding their eyes. They were too late to prevent themselves from being blinded, though. By the time they could properly see again, dark clouds were racing overhead. It had started to rain again. In fact, it had started to _pour_.

"Hey, did anyone know there was an eclipse planned for tonight?" Zelos asked, glancing up at the moon, which was slowly being swallowed by darkness.

"That's strange… But not quite as strange as that." Mithos said, pointing to Yuan.

The blue-haired seraph had become encased in a strange cocoon, the color of blood. It swirled uneasily, almost like a flickering flame. Then, however, cracks of light started to appear on the surface. They spread all across it, until finally the cocoon cracked. Just as it shattered into a million pieces, lightning flashed nearby.

Everyone got quite a shock at Yuan's new look.

Instead of the familiar set of armor he'd been wearing mere moments ago, he was now fitted in a strange, dark scarlet uniform with silver lining. Instead of his usual cloak, a red cape hung around his neck. His wings had changed from their normally pinkish hue to a deep crimson color. His eyes, no longer green and now equipped with a creepy blank stare, shared that quality. To complete the ensemble, a red chef's hat was perched atop his head as his long blue hair fell past his shoulders freely, whipping softly in the wind.

"Y-Yuan?" Kratos squeaked, still caught in a state of shock.

"I am the Twilight Chef, bringer of the apocalypse. From now on, this forsaken world shall belong to darkness." Yuan spoke in a strange unearthly voice, devoid of emotion. He raised the spatula over his head, and lightning flashed once more.

"What the-"

The Dark Chef started to laugh loudly. "I've done it! My true heir has awoken! Tremble before my might, Cruxis!"

"Yuan is… The Dark Chef's heir?" Raine asked slowly.

"So that's what this was all about…" Abyssion pondered.

"Why didn't we see this coming?" Martel exclaimed, slapping her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"Because you're idiots." Kuchinawa pointed out.

"He's got a point." Lloyd admitted.

The Dark Chef spread his arms, grinning maniacally. "Now, Cruxis, let me hear you _beg_ for mercy!"

"Never!" Yggdrasill shouted. "I wasn't scared of Yuan before, and I'm not scared of him now!"

"We'll see about that. Twilight Chef, as your master I order you to destroy these infidels." Dark Chef spat, pointing to the Cruxis gang.

The Twilight Chef, however, merely gave Sixurc's leader a blank stare. "Who are you to think you can give me orders, mortal?"

"_What_? I created you! You're my heir! You have to do as I tell you! Now hop to it!" the Dark Chef snapped.

"Twilight Chef, bringer of the apocalypse, takes orders from no one. I have no use for you. Begone."

With a slam of an overly large spatula, the Dark Chef was sent flying through the air. He landed in a crumpled heap near the stairs, causing everyone present to gasp in horror.

Yes, this was a _very_ bad thing.


	16. Chapter Fifteen

((A/N: Aaaand chapter fifteen! We're nearing the end, peoples. Thanks for all the reviews up to now and... Heh... Please stop worrying about Yuan. I swear, he'll be fine. ... Sorta... Certainly not _dead _or anything. Eheheheh...))

* * *

Chapter Fifteen.

"Lord Dark Chef!" Remiel shouted, darting towards Sixurc's leader and pulling him into a sitting position. "Speak to me!"

The three other Eliminators immediately rushed to their side as well, horribly anxious.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" Abyssion waved a hand in front of the Dark Chef's face.

"Stop pestering him, Abyssion!" Remiel snapped, holding his superior close.

"Get off me, I'm fine." The Dark Chef hissed, trying to shove Remiel away.

"As of today, this world will be showered in darkness. No mortal will be spared the judgment of twilight! Let their sins be bared so that they may be cast into the underworld!" Twilight Chef started to twirl the spatula above his head, similar to the way Yuan would have done with his double-edged saber. A magical circle appeared underneath him. Lightning continued to flash, illuminating the scene that was already pretty creepy.

"The world as we know it is going to end! We're doomed!" Zelos screamed, hugging Lloyd in sheer terror.

"As if the freaky weather conditions and the eclipse weren't enough of a hint…" Martel muttered sarcastically.

"We have to do something!" Lloyd exclaimed, once again playing the role of hopeless idealist.

"Nothing can be done. Once my true heir has awoken, the ritual of the apocalypse cannot be reversed." Dark Chef spoke, pushing himself to his feet.

"Argh! Where's the Wonder Chef when you need him?" Yggdrasill snapped.

"Off to a cooking convention in Meltokio." the Dark Chef gave a simple shrug.

"It's up to us to stop him! Don't you remember what Dhaos said? People are going to die!" Lloyd shouted.

"Oh, _now_ we're suddenly believing Kratos' hallucinations?" Martel raised an eyebrow.

"He was right about the apocalypse…" Genis pointed out.

"I have an idea!" Raine called. Everyone turned to her expectantly. "Because Yuan still exists in the future, as himself, it means that the real Yuan is still in there somewhere. All we need to do is try to reach him. Then maybe we can break the spell before he completes the ritual!"

There was a small silence.

"It's worth a shot." Sheena said.

Everyone turned back to the Twilight Chef, who was still twirling the spatula above his head.

"Yuan, snap out of it! You don't want to _destroy_ the world! You want to rid it of discrimination, remember?" Yggdrasill called.

"Yeah, don't do this! I like this world! It's where I keep all my stuff!" Zelos added anxiously.

The Twilight Chef ignored them, continuing his spell. Looking out to sea, the seraphim could see that violent waves were crashing down on the beach and tornados were rushing across the surface.

"Come on, Yuan! You're a good guy, remember? You went through so much trouble to help us unite this world! Don't mess it up!" Lloyd tried desperately.

"You'll make people sad! And puppies too! You don't want to make the puppies sad, do you?" Colette asked with a pout.

"Oh, not the innocent puppies!" Virginia looked horrified.

"So, Yuan, you absolutely cannot destroy the world, you got that?" Colette shook her fist at the Twilight Chef.

Still, her words were lost to the wind.

"Time for drastic measures!" Martel decided firmly. "Yuan… Decaf! I said _decaf_, dammit! Do you hear me?!"

"It's no good… He's not listening!" Genis shook his head sadly.

Zelos sighed, turning to leave. "Well, let's go home and hide under a table while we wait for all this to blow over. At least I know for a fact that Lloyd and I are still alive in the future."

"No! I won't let it end like this!" Kratos finally snapped out of his stupor to take a few steps forward. The Twilight Chef's crimson eyes lowered to meet his gaze. "Yuan, I'm sorry I made it seem like you're old! I really didn't mean to. Besides, the nosehair trimmer was Martel's idea."

"You got him a _nosehair trimmer_? You idiot! No wonder he's mad at you!" Martel shouted.

"Hey, you were the one who said- Oh, nevermind." Kratos shook his head before turning back to Yuan. "Truth is, I don't care how old you are. Numbers are meaningless to me. I loved you last year, I love you this year and I'll love you next year. No matter how old you get, I always will! And I'm sorry I tried to murder Botta. That was a misunderstanding. So… Please forgive me for being an insensitive jerk."

The Twilight Chef stopped twirling the spatula over his head, lowering it slightly. The expression on his face was quite blank. Lightning flashed again.

At that very moment, Botta came storming up the stairs. He shoved Kratos out of the way and hopped onto the seal altar with a valiant lunge. Before anyone had fully realized what was happening, Botta had snatched the spatula from a bewildered Twilight Chef's hands.

Chaos erupted one last time, as there was once again an explosion of light, soon followed by an implosion. A high-pitched, unearthly shriek rang across the lands, signifying the Twilight Chef's demise.


	17. Chapter Sixteen

((A/N: Welcome, welcome, to the last chapter of Idiot Seraphim Zes. Incidentally also the last actual chapter in the series! Hey, it's been great writing these fics, but really, the fun has to end some time. I wanna thank all my faithful readers and reviewers for getting me this far, and uhm... Don't forget the epilogue that comes after this chapter!

Oh yeah, and to answer a question; The new Idiot Seraphim pairing is indeed Remiel/Dark Chef. Shudder in fear, mortals!))

* * *

Chapter Sixteen.

When the light had finally subsided and everyone had regained the ability to see, they were all quite astounded. The dark storm clouds had vanished, along with the eclipse that was threatening to block out the moon. The ocean had once again calmed down and all was quiet. Yuan, who was still standing on the altar, and now completely back to normal, toppled forward in shock.

"Yuan!"

Everyone immediately crowded around the seraph to see if he was alright. Botta, meanwhile, hopped down from the altar as well. He threw the spatula away, over the edge of the tower.

"Ah! My precious spatula!" The Dark Chef immediately dove after it.

"Lord Dark Chef! _No_!" Remiel hastily unfurled his wings and shot after him.

There was a long silence. Then, Remiel came into sight again, arms wrapped around the Dark Chef, his wings flapping in a desperate attempt to remain airborne. Obviously, Sixurc's leader was a bit heavy. The Dark Chef, meanwhile, was clutching the spatula to his chest, looking mildly surprised. With great effort, Remiel managed to carry the Dark Chef onto solid ground, before collapsing.

"Whoah…" was all Abyssion could say.

"I do hope you've learned your lesson. Nothing good comes from showering the world in darkness. And keep your weird voodoo objects to yourself." Botta spoke in a reprimanding voice.

"Oh yeah? Well… This isn't over!" the Dark Chef snapped.

The five Eliminators quickly huddled together and Kuchinawa threw a smoke bomb. Then, they were gone.

"What a bunch of idiots." Yggdrasill shook his head sadly, before turning back into Mithos.

There was another long silence. Then everyone turned back to Yuan, who was still sitting on the ground in front of the altar.

"Are you okay?" Lloyd asked.

"I feel like I got hit by a rheaird…" Yuan groaned, holding his head in one hand.

"You're lucky Botta saved you." Martel said briskly.

"Yeah, Botta's a hero!" Colette added, bouncing up and down happily.

Kratos, meanwhile, was glaring daggers at the half-elf in question. Nobody seemed to notice.

"Why are you here, anyway? Shouldn't you be at the café?" Yuan asked, looking up.

"Well, sir… I've come to realize something." Botta began.

"Oh gods, a sappy moral…" Kratos muttered under his breath.

"After the Remote island ranch incident, I've tried many jobs. One more pointless than the other. Though the café was running quite well, I knew that it still wasn't quite what I wanted to do. No, I realize now that my true calling… is to be the Renegade sidekick." Botta smiled widely at Yuan, who smiled back. Kratos could be heard grinding his teeth in the background.

"Well, all's well that ends well." Zelos said happily. "Let's go home."

"… Home?" Yuan repeated slowly. "You mean… You're not mad?"

"Nah." Martel shook her head. "Well, okay, because you did almost cause an apocalypse, you'll be doing the laundry for a month."

"And cleaning the bathroom. The shower drain is clogged again." Mithos added.

"Ugh… Why does nearly everyone in the castle have long hair?" Yuan sighed, shaking his head. "Well, I suppose it's fair enough."

Everyone turned to leave and Yuan was just about to push himself to his feet when Kratos approached him.

"Yuan… I'm sorry I-"

"Don't say a word." Yuan cut in. "I heard the whole speech five minutes ago, you know."

"… Ah. Then… You forgive me?" Kratos asked hopefully.

Yuan considered this for a moment. "No."

"Why not?" Kratos started to whine pitifully.

"You said you don't care how old I am, and that numbers are meaningless to you, but you still don't seem to know what you did wrong."

Kratos tilted his head in a confused way.

"Come here." Yuan said, beckoning the man closer with a mean smile.

For a moment, Kratos hesitated. Then he stepped forward and crouched down next to the blue-haired seraph.

"Now you listen, and you listen _close_!" Yuan shouted, promptly grabbing a fistful of Kratos' hair and pulling it harshly. "I'm _not_ four thousand and thirty-eight years old! I'm four-thousand and thirty-_seven_, you incredible _moron_!"

"Ow ow ow ow- What?" Kratos stopped flailing helplessly, completely dumbstruck.

"And next time you get me a present like _that_, I'm shoving it up your nose! You got that?" Yuan hissed, releasing Kratos' hair again.

"… Four-thousand and thirty-seven?" the auburn seraph asked slowly. "Really?"

"Really."

"I'm sorry…" Kratos whispered.

"Stop saying that. You're starting to sound like Colette." Yuan shuddered lightly. He tried to get up, but staggered and nearly fell on top of Kratos, who quickly caught him.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Considering I haven't slept in almost six days and my body is operating solely on large amounts of caffeine…" Yuan thought deeply for a moment. "I've had worse."

Kratos chuckled, lifting his partner to his feet. "Come on, let's go, you old geezer."

For that comment, he received a whack upside the head. Still, at least now he knew things were back to normal.


	18. Epilogue

Epilogue.

Running a hand through his long hair, Zelos entered the living room. Two days had passed since the Twilight Chef incident and everything was back to normal. Well, as normal as things could get. Which wasn't very normal at all.

The red-head found Kratos sitting on the couch, one arm wrapped around Yuan, who was fast asleep, his head resting on the human's shoulder.

"Uhm… Yuan?"

Immediately, Kratos' eyes snapped up to meet Zelos' in a glare. "Don't you dare wake him. It's taken days for all that caffeine to wear off." He hissed. Then he gazed down at Yuan in a loving manner. "He finally exhausted himself during 'happy time' in the broomcloset."

"Too much information." Zelos whispered, wrinkling his nose. "Anyway, I have to pass a message."

"Which is?"

"Uhm… Oh yes, Botta and his Renegade accomplices want to move into Triet base, so they can continue Renegade activities."

Kratos' eyes narrowed again. "Tell him to take Flanoir base instead."

"Why Flanoir?"

"Because that base is cold and closed down anyway. I'm not letting him have Triet base. It's nice and sunny there, and kinda like our own summer getaway." Kratos paused for a moment. "But if Botta asks, tell him it's Yuan's orders."

Yuan, meanwhile, mumbled something about socks and shifted further into Kratos' embrace.

"Sure." Zelos shrugged.

With that, he left the living room to enter the kitchen, where Mithos was sitting. The boy's chair was leaning back on its two hind legs as his own feet were resting on the table. A sly smile was present on his face.

"What are you doing?" Zelos asked, mildly curious.

"I'm plotting." Mithos responded simply, his hands brought together in front of him so that his fingertips met, yet his palms were spaced apart, thereby forming a so-called 'finger pyramid of evil contemplation'.

"Ah, of course." The redhead rolled his eyes and snatched a few apples from the kitchen counter, shoving them into the bag he was carrying.

Suddenly, an annoying beeping sound rang through the kitchen.

"Oh, that's mine." Mithos said, reaching into his pocket to pull out a cellphone, which he placed against his ear. "Mithos Yggdrasill, leader of Cruxis speaking! … Geniiis! Hiii! … A picnic? Sounds great! … Yes, I'd _love_ to try some of your cooking! … Oh, hold on, I've got another call."

Mithos lowered the phone and pressed a little button. Zelos shook his head sadly and started to walk towards the exit.

"Mithos Yggdrasill, leader of Cruxis speaking! … Oh, Forcystus, hello. … Scrabble on Friday? Sure. Sounds good."

As Zelos entered the hallway, he nearly crashed into Martel, who had apparently been pressing her ear to the door.

"Who is he talking to? Is it that annoying Genis boy? _Hm_?" she demanded forcefully.

"No, it's Forcystus." Zelos replied, as it was sort of true.

"Good. Because he knows I don't approve of that little suck-up." Martel huffed, sticking her nose in the air in a dignified manner.

There was a crashing sound nearby, and soon after Colette came stumbling into the hallway as well. "Martel! Is it target practice time yet?"

"Have you set up Yuan's collection of expensive vases on the balcony?" Martel asked.

"All of them!" Colette chirped proudly.

"Good girl." The green-haired 'goddess' smiled, ruffling Colette's hair.

Zelos managed a gagging sound from the back of his throat and quickly fled the scene. Unlike the time when he'd first arrived at Vinheim the second, he could now find his way through the corridors perfectly. This was why, two minutes later, he exited the castle, where Lloyd was waiting for him.

"Ready to go?" the brunette asked.

"You bet!" Zelos grinned, holding up the bag with all sorts of equipment. "This is going to be the best Mana Company anniversary ever!"

"You say that every year." Lloyd commented with a helpless smile.

Zelos turned back to face Vinheim the second one last time, remembering the day he first arrived there.

"What's on your mind?" Lloyd enquired, also looking up at the castle.

"I was just wondering what life would be like if I hadn't accepted Mithos' offer to become the fourth seraph." The redhead muttered, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You'd still be stuck in that boring mansion in Meltokio, probably."

Zelos shuddered at the thought, then wrapped an arm around Lloyd's shoulder and led him towards the teleporter that would take them to the bottom of the Tower of Salvation.

Once a seraph, always a seraph. A lot of things happened those last four years, yet not much had changed. Though Cruxis' number had increased during that time, they were all still the same Idiot Seraphim.

* * *

((The end.)) 


End file.
